photography
julia trotti
stylist + creative direction
jessie mcnaught
inspired by
mighty ducks
models
chanel @ vivien's
helena @ the agency
james @ vivien's
sam @ wolves
makeup
isobel claire
film
dan @ i make films
photography
julia trotti
model
madeline rae mason
makeup
chereine waddell
stylist
jessie mcnaught
film
dan @ i make films
photographed for
peppermint magazine
earlier in the week emma sabjan, dan and i decided to head to the blue mountains for a day of exploring the forest and taking pictures. we had the best time just hanging out and shooting for fun, here are some of the pictures i took! dan's film is coming soon.
the photos with the waterfall were taken on the rocks all the way at the bottom here!
and some behind the scenes from the day:
dan filming.
feeling dead after walking the hundreds of stairs back up the mountain.
coffee in cafes overlooking the mountain.
printed tees: teepee designs
black bralette: borrowed from jessie mcnaught styling
white dress: miss selfridge
all other clothes from our own collection :)
also, lots of these photos were edited with a new raw preset i just released named after this series:
.
model: joshua maxwell
stylist: harmony hearsey
film: dan @ i make films
in the late afternoon a fire burnt furiously in the far distance. the air was hot and filled with smoke, but everything was covered in a beautiful red glaze by the time we arrived to the city. joshua had come down from melbourne with felicity downie to spend a few days in sydney, and we all spent the afternoon with harmony & dan shooting in the alleyways and side-streets of the empty suburbs. we talked and wandered in between every photo we took, and when it was too dark to take photos, we all went out for thai and ended up talking for hours more. joshua is an amazing photographer
, and it was so lovely to finally be able to meet felicity in person after first meeting her online years ago on deviantart!
these are the photos from one of the best days shooting i've had in a long while, and of course i'm so happy dan came along to put together this amazing short film too:
During this portrait photoshoot, I collaborated with an amazing team of creatives. I am taking low light portraits with the Canon 5Dmkii and the Canon 85mm f1.2L II lens.
while i was in london i had the pleasure to meet and shoot beside the lovely ailera stone. i have been smitten by her photography and magical blog posts for the longest time and i was so happy that she put together this little shoot for us when i told her i was going to be in her side of the world for a little while! you can see her photos from our day here! and you should follow her blog because she is incredibly talented. these are the pictures i took on this sun-soaked but freezing cold day!
model: auste kuzmickaite
makeup: gaile juknyte
dan and i got home from london, greeted with a warm winter in australia. we jumped straight back into life. i shot a wedding a few days after getting back home, and it has all been as busy as ever since. winter was a time of staying up late and waking up early. here are a collection of pictures of the things i got up to.
my friends and i stayed in a little country house in the middle of nowhere.
making fires to stay warm.
trying to pat the cows.
the fire keeper.
our little fire turned big and warm.
staying up to see the thousands of stars blanketing the sky.
waking up before dawn.
a kangaroo in our backyard.
exploring with nat.
the night in the river.
last breakfast on the sunny porch before going home.
dan and i went driving when the night was covered in thick fog.
walking back over the huge hills at the end of our shoot.
jessie mcnaught hosted an amazing fashion event where our
photos were on display everywhere.
madeline opening the fashion show.
the talented bridgette may live drawing an image of mine during the night.
afterwards, we all went to hang out in this lovely outdoor bar for the rest of the night.
my job takes me to beautiful places.
we went to watch some live music.
chereine working her makeup magic on madeline.
my glitter-covered lens after shooting (i'm still finding glitter on the camera weeks later!)
location scouting with dan.
the clouds in the dirt.
i received a lovely surprise in the mail from kiara rose; she made some prints of a shoot we had together!
spending some days sick in bed.
more location scouting with dan on cold afternoons.
one of the things i am most excited about that happened in the winter-time, is that dan and i released a brand new website - Swoon Weddings - where we film & photograph people in love. you can see a whole new set of pictures & short films on our website here:
and it would mean the world to me if you could go through and like our slowly growing
too!
model: elle @ work models
designer: lulu in chains
hair & makeup: kaori
video: dan @ i make films
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
we were still in london while waiting for a bus in the city. i had butterflies in my stomach telling dan i was so excited and nervous at the same time to go to poland. i didn't know what to expect. we got on the bus and traveled through the country-side of england until we reached standsted airport. we took off in the plane while i filmed outside the window and as quickly as we got to paris, we landed in poland.
dan's family were waiting for us at the airport, and as we walked out of customs, we all hugged hello even though we've never met before and i couldn't understand polish - my butterflies instantly disappeared with how warmly they introduced themselves. as soon as we walked outside the cold air stung my skin and painted my arms with goosebumps. i was too distracted by the first thing i noticed which was the sun in the distance about to set, differently to how i've ever seen it shine before to care about the cold though. we hopped in the car and were taken to their home in the country where we had dinner, looked at photos and fell asleep.
we were in poland for three days, and i couldn't thank dan's family enough for making it the most memorable three days ever. they took us somewhere new every day, explaining to dan the history of the places we were visiting and dan translating for me. i learnt a few polish words and his family were very patient with me when i was trying to talk, i could say hello, good, thank you, beer, cold, water, yes and no. we made do with those little words i knew, and somehow language was hardly a barrier while i was there.
dan and i are longing to go to poland again soon, it would be so lovely to be able to spend a longer amount of time with his wonderful family exploring, hanging out and taking pictures. im so happy we got to do this though, coming to poland was definitely a highlight of our trip.
i was obsessed with the beautiful forests we constantly passed while driving.
the city was filled with blossoming trees.
on the first day we were there, they took us to walk through the city of gdansk.
there were lots of people dressed up so they could busk on the streets.
gdansk is beautiful, i love all the buildings and how they're all decorated with different colours.
the oldest church in the city. we were about to walk to the very top.
halfway through walking to the top of the curch.
we then went to an old army barracks were you could also see the entire city from.
driving back home.
some photos from dan's uncle's backyard.
we went for a walk around the empty lots close to dan's family's home.
it felt like the sunsets in poland last forever.
dan and his cousin, karol.
that night we had a big bbq where i put away my camera and just enjoyed the company.
we woke up on the second day, and they wanted to take us to a real european forest which was just a short walk away from their home.
dan and his cousins.
beautiful backyards.
half and half.
i have always wanted to see a pile of logs in a forest!
walking back home. the air out here was so fresh, it made dan and i sleepy.
when we got back from the forest, we got in the car again and drove 20 minutes to the next city.
walking through the city of sopot.
the baltic sea.
here we walked to very end of the longest pier off the baltic sea.
the last minutes of light at the baltic sea.
sun setting in the next city; gdynia.
driving back home at the end of a long day.
this was the morning of our last day in poland.
we drove into the country to see an upside down house, i still couldn't get enough of the scenery.
and the forests..
i would love to live in one of these houses!
on our way back from the upside down house, we made a stop at a gorgeous lake. a natural lake like this is something else i have always wanted to see.
dan & i.
we stopped at a lookout to see the lake and trees from up high.
that afternoon we went back to dan's uncle's house and more of dan's family came over to say hello and goodbye. we all sat around and talked (dan translating for me!) and drank coffee. before we knew it we were hugging and waving goodbye at the airport before jumping on a long flight back home. we'll definitely be back soon.
last but not least, dan and i were filming throughout our entire adventure overseas, and dan put a little video together from the hundreds of clips of silly faces, beautiful landscapes and busy streets. our memories from london, paris and poland:
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
campaign for paul edmonds
models terri @ storm
amy @ select
veronika @ select
makeup emily jane
stylist rachel holland
set stylist casey williams
film dan @ i make films
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
we spent an afternoon being taunted by heavy rain clouds as we shot with pretty swimsuits on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. the wind whipped megan's hair around and her skin crawled with goosebumps but she was absolutely amazing regardless of anything. keep an eye on my
for some behind the scenes from today!
model: megan emmett
hair + makeup: lisa fahey @ tussta hair
swimsuits: molly and polly
film: dan @ i make films
last week we got up to something a little crazy. it's moments like these, when i step outside my comfort zone, when im scared and unsure about what's going to happen, that i feel most alive. on friday, i skated on an pretty outdoor ice rink with my camera feebly grasped by one hand while laughing and trying not to fall over while taking pictures of madeline. we were surrounded by a sea of people; little kids holding on for dear life to the edge of the ice rink, parents skating slowly behind them trying not to fall over themselves and groups of teenagers out at night while we took pictures. lights were flashing brightly and we shot and skated and sang along to the bad music until all the lights were turned off.
dan and i got home that night and it might seem silly, but i felt like for the first time in a long time i was really breathing. days later and i still felt the same excitement when i thought about this shoot as to when we were shooting it. it makes me giddy to be able to share with you all soon the things that i have planned for the future. a little silliness, a little prettiness and a little bit of shoots on a larger scale.
model: madeline rae mason
makeup: chereine waddell
stylist: jessie mcnaught
film: dan podbierezki @ i make films
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
we woke up one morning before the sun rose and made our way in the freezing cold to the train station in london. we bought two coffees and two amazing blueberry danishes and waited to board our train to the city of love. still sleepy-eyed but filled with excitement we crossed beautiful oceans of land on the eurostar, saw countless fields of flowers and little houses sitting quaintly in the middle of nowhere.
we arrived in paris just a few hours later - i love how you can just hop on a train in europe and a few hours later you are in a completely different city. we had one day to see everything we could. it was beautiful and sunny and my camera clicked endlessly at everything i saw.
ears popping as we ride above ground and under the sea on the eurostar.
taking photos of all the beautiful buildings with balconies covered in flowers.
the streets were still quiet in the morning.
scaffolding.
so many people in red coats!
an ordinary starbucks decorated in a fancy building.
making our way past the louvre.
so many people on the streets had bicycles.
painters painting.
we took a cruise down the seine river.
we watched and people waved at us as i was taking pictures of them. we almost saw a girl fall into the river as she started sliding down the stone ramp.
green trees, green boats, green water.
i finally got to see the carousel i have wanted to see since i was sixteen years old.
saying i was a little excited to see the carousel is a bit of an understatement!
we spent the rest of the day walking around the city.
dan taking pictures of people selling key chains on the street.
map reading.
one last look at the eiffel tower.
a big messy round-a-bout and a pack of cyclists.
the gorgeous gardens close to the louvre.
taking a little break after walking around all day.
exploring the outside of the louvre.
taking pictures of strangers on the way back to the train station.
balcony conversations.
the last picture i took before falling asleep on the train ride home with my camera still sitting soundly around my neck.
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
jewellery: alexandra redmond
model: tanya @ the agency
makeup: emmily banks
behind the scenes film: dan @ chase studios
these are some outtakes from a recent lookbook shoot i did for the amazing jewellery designer, alexandra redmond. you can see the official photos i took for her on her
!
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
the days of rain we had in london were few and far between. today was a little different. we woke up to a cloudy windowsill, the air was cold and sharp down my throat as we walked towards the bus stop. the streets were busier than ever today as we decided to explore kew gardens. we jumped on a double decker bus and rode far away, out into the suburbs. the houses in kew were big and beautiful. they were decorated with manicured gardens, all pretty and perfect.
for as long as i can remember i have always wanted to visit kew gardens. it has been my dream to see their giant greenhouse in real life and take some pictures of it. we don't have anything that looks like this in australia, and just as i imagined the whole day was dream-like and beautiful. it rained but we didn't care, the sun still came out on occasion to warm our frozen skin. here is our day in pictures.
busy baker street.
we thought the bus wouldn't fit in the tunnel.
arriving at kew gardens, it felt like a dream.
inside the greenhouse. it was hot like an australian summer inside and the glass of my lens fogged up.
the pretty plants inside the second greenhouse.
we kept tripping over while trying to take a picture.
dan distracted by a squirrel running around in the trees. it's the first time we've ever seen a real squirrel!
basking in the warm sunshine.
dan made a friend.
juice breaks as clouds started to roll over and cover every inch of the sky.
exploring the last greenhouse (while taking shelter away from the rain) that had 7 different environments. every room you walked into felt like you were walking into a different country in a different season of the year.
the rain finally stopped while we were inside the last greenhouse and i was finally able to get some pictures with the pink cherry blossoms.
swans are my favourite.
the sun came out again, the most beautiful way to end a perfect day.
i can't wait to visit you again kew gardens!
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
flying over l.a.
i know you have all been patiently waiting to hear about my adventures overseas and today i've finally finished putting everything together. there is so much to say and so much to show and i didn't want to miss out on a single second. i decided to split the blog posts into five different posts which will be published over the next few weeks! so on with the story..
a few weeks ago i was flown to london to shoot a campaign (which i will reveal everything about soon) and our stay there was amazing. dan and i were in london for two weeks and after a day there it already felt like home. we woke up early, some days even before the sun rose, and walked around the city until we felt like collapsing. my camera was home around my neck from the moment i was out the door and i hardly ever put it down for a second.
the flight over was long but i was filled with excitement and butterflies as the big aeroplanes took off leaving tiny cities behind and landed in different countries, slowly getting closer and closer to london. when we arrived dan and i were eager to explore the city and took a walk around. the first day we were there was the only day we were lost, but i didn't mind one bit walking down streets i didn't know and not knowing where to go next.
the days afterwards were a beautiful mess. we spent every second in between model castings, location scouting and meetings getting to know london and taking pictures of everything we saw. the city was blooming and there were busy people everywhere. we rode in taxis forcing our eyes shut whenever they u-turned on a busy street or squeezed in between too-tight places with cars, buses or people on either side of the taxi, we walked down long flights of stairs to watch live music in venues underground, we flicked through boxes and boxes of records in soho and had dinner at different pubs every night.
london won over my heart and i hope to be back there again soon, and again soon after that. i could spend forever wandering the streets and living the way we did for two weeks.
lost on the streets on our first day in london and dan trying to figure out which way to go.
the end of baker street, close to where we were staying.
the entire city was blooming.
coffees in pretty cafe's before location scouting.
one of the streets of a location we were shooting at.
the cat of the house we were shooting the campaign.
more gorgeous locations scouted in the suburbs, filled to the brim with hand-made love and kick-knacks.
the pretty balcony of our hotel room overlooking the streets. the sun would shine on us early in the morning while we were drinking coffee.
back in the city, walking around after a model casting in knightsbridge.
spending the afternoon in museums.
getting excited for my picture with the dinosaur.
dinosaurs are the best.
a band busking on the streets.
in a live butterfly museum, where i never knew i was scared of butterflies.
souvenirs.
busy oxford street.
walking around the streets of soho.
catching the tube.
spring-time shoots in the sun. i was lucky to meet ailera stone who was lovely and put together this little shoot for us! i'll be blogging all the photos from this day soon..
the evening before we left for paris, dan and i decided to go to london eye & see the big ben.
the view of the city from the top of the london eye.
big ben.
dan and i spent our last day in london sitting in hyde park under the shade of the trees.
london part i // london part ii // campaign // paris // poland
model madeline rae mason
makeup chereine waddell
stylist jessie mcnaught
video dan @ i make films
I'm excited because I've started sharing more fashion shoot behind the scenes videos + Lightroom & Photoshop Tutorials on my YouTube Channel! Be sure to subscribe as I upload 2 new videos every week x
All photos edited with my Lovestruck Lightroom Preset!
i went to the park and took some self portraits the other day in the warm sun. my hair is longer now than it has ever been before and i think it's finally time to cut it.
the jumper and black top im wearing were a present from wildfox couture and the leotard from black milk
♥
also, the first three photos in this set have been edited with my new preset lovestruck & the last photo in this set edited with wild bird.
For this photoshoot we took some natural light portraits at an abandoned building and the surrounding gardens. I was using my Canon 5D mk2 and the Canon 35mm F1.4 mk1 lens. I edited all these photos with my Disposable Film Lightroom Preset Pack and my Lovestruck Lightroom Preset for those fun vintage tones.
model: summer @ chadwicks
no makeup
orange jumpsuit & white dress: her pony
this is something i have wanted to share with you all for a very long time. in fact, it's been a long time since i first picked up a camera and things were much different back then to where they are now. this post has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and today, right now, i feel like is the right time to press publish... this is a blog post without any photos (maybe even for the first time ever), just words. about how i started taking pictures.
for as long as i can remember i have always been artistic or creative in some way. i was a quiet girl with long, untamed hair and bruised legs from rollerskating falls. i was quite dark when i was younger. i think looking back on those days now, i understand why. i didn't know what to do with my thoughts or my creativity, i didn't really understand who i was or what i was meant to be doing. i would spend a lot of time alone, i didn't like talking to new people and i always quiet at school and would mind my own business. i think inside i knew there was meant to be something more for me, something that i couldn't find by doing what everyone else was doing; i needed to do it myself.
in 2005, i was fourteen years old when colour and art began to really spark an interest in me. i opened up a deviantart account under the name of vampire-zombie for lack of a clearer vision of what me or my art was about. from there i became obsessed at watching other people's artworks. the first thing i would do when i came home from school is log on and flick through the endless pages of inspiration in this new world i discovered. at first i gushed over the work of traditional artists; drawers, painters, people who used mixed media. that slowly grew into discovering the world of digital painters and slowly after, the world of photomanipulations.
about a year after opening my deviantart account i decided to take matters into my own hands and try my hand at some manipulations. at first i would use stock images from the internet and post them up online and ask people what they thought. i never got much of a response. i would put together digital wallpapers of my favourite bands and things i thought were pretty. but after a while i realised all that was not for me. the next thing i did was grab my family's digital camera, it was nothing special - just a little compact camera, but i took it with me everywhere i went and took pictures of everything. there was something about documenting the everyday things; the mundane, the usual, that captivated me. it seemed like a whole new world of remembering had been opened up for me.
i was too scared to take pictures of people. even of myself. i would take landscape photos, pictures of my dogs and i would stop on the side of highways just to look at the flowers close up. i was particularly inspired by the sky and created conceptual photos every now and then.
eventually i tired of taking photos of the same things and started to take self portraits. i would set my compact camera on the floor on a ten second timer and would get photos of myself running through fields or jumping in the air. at the same time i would ask my sister if i could take photos of her sitting on rocks or walking through the water at the beach. my photos even when i started, were natural and full of movement, i liked the quiet moments, the little nothings.
i took photos of my sister and i for half a year while saving up for my first slr. the pictures i took and posted online were sold as book and album covers, much to my bewilderment. but i still took every offer i had with appreciation even though i didn't quite understand what was going on. when i finally had my pentax k1000d in my hands, i spent time learning how to shoot manually, with confidence that i could finally take control over the images i wanted to create. i shot self portraits and pictures of my sister for a little while longer before i asked two of my friends if they could model for me. my first ever shoot with someone other than me, was an alice in wonderland shoot. we set up a table full of teacups and pills, walked down to the supermarket to buy cupcakes to shoot with and spent the afternoon living a mad hatter's tea party while i took photos.
i didn't do any fashion shoots with my pentax camera. i spent that time learning what my style was, learning how to shoot portraits and work with people in photography. it helped me realise that i loved taking photos of people; but not in the ordinary way that the photography magazines i bought told me to. i liked to take photos while they are doing something, jumping, lost in thought, exploring the wilderness, brushing a strand of hair off their face.
i started to save up for a new camera. the lens on my pentax camera broke and i had been using it with a $7 film lens i found at the markets which wouldn't screw onto my camera so it sat on the body taped up with electrical tape. the photos were lovely either way, but i wanted something more. i started to have dreams of seeing my work up on billboards and to create art that would be remembered forever. somewhere my passion for taking portraits evolved into the desire to shoot fashion. i wanted a new challenge, to take photos of people i've never met before, put teams together and shoot for a reason (although just shooting for yourself is probably one of the best reasons to shoot). i wanted to put all my concentration into shooting and using the camera rather than trying to juggle both photography and modeling for my photos.
when i finally got my hands on my new camera, the canon 5dmkii, it was a breath of fresh air, like i was rejuvinated with inspiration. i had ideas and absolutely nothing in my way of making them happen. i planned a few shoots with some pretty models i found online and the shooting started. i spent a lot of time still just shooting for fun, i blogged all the photos i took and continued sharing my work online. eventually people started emailing me asking if i could shoot for them for money. i got to shoot book covers, photos for bands, eventually i started shooting model portfolios and lookbooks for designers. all of that came with me growing in what i'm doing. i never really pushed for that side of things or even thought about it all that much. they happened and all i tried to do was put as much passion into those jobs as i did for my personal work.
along the way my family and dan have helped me endlessly and supported me. i know a lot of people don't have that luxury, but i am so appreciative to have the love of the people who are close to me and even their help and advice when i needed it the most.
since then until now it has all been a wonderful ride of experiences and learning and meeting new people that i never expected to happen. i feel so blessed to be living the way i do and being able to do what i love every single day. i know i worked hard and i've been doing this for a long time even though i am young. since the beginning, taking photos would be the first thing i thought about and the only thing i would do during the day and night.
i guess i'm writing all this, not just to share it with you, but for myself too. even after years of taking photos and being a photographer i still feel unsure about myself every now and then. sometimes old feelings crawl back under my skin and haunt me for a couple of days. sometimes something doesn't go right and i question what i'm really doing. but the answer will always be i'm doing what i love and what makes me most happy (more than anything).
it's okay to be uncertain sometimes, it's okay if things go wrong and it's okay if you don't know where you're going or how to get there. i still don't know.
all you need to know is that if you're passionate about something; follow those dreams and make them come true. all the hard work is worth it if you enjoy the journey and live a full life knowing that you're living for something you love.
for as long as i can remember i have always been artistic or creative in some way. i was a quiet girl with long, untamed hair and bruised legs from rollerskating falls. i was quite dark when i was younger. i think looking back on those days now, i understand why. i didn't know what to do with my thoughts or my creativity, i didn't really understand who i was or what i was meant to be doing. i would spend a lot of time alone, i didn't like talking to new people and i always quiet at school and would mind my own business. i think inside i knew there was meant to be something more for me, something that i couldn't find by doing what everyone else was doing; i needed to do it myself.
in 2005, i was fourteen years old when colour and art began to really spark an interest in me. i opened up a deviantart account under the name of vampire-zombie for lack of a clearer vision of what me or my art was about. from there i became obsessed at watching other people's artworks. the first thing i would do when i came home from school is log on and flick through the endless pages of inspiration in this new world i discovered. at first i gushed over the work of traditional artists; drawers, painters, people who used mixed media. that slowly grew into discovering the world of digital painters and slowly after, the world of photomanipulations.
about a year after opening my deviantart account i decided to take matters into my own hands and try my hand at some manipulations. at first i would use stock images from the internet and post them up online and ask people what they thought. i never got much of a response. i would put together digital wallpapers of my favourite bands and things i thought were pretty. but after a while i realised all that was not for me. the next thing i did was grab my family's digital camera, it was nothing special - just a little compact camera, but i took it with me everywhere i went and took pictures of everything. there was something about documenting the everyday things; the mundane, the usual, that captivated me. it seemed like a whole new world of remembering had been opened up for me.
i was too scared to take pictures of people. even of myself. i would take landscape photos, pictures of my dogs and i would stop on the side of highways just to look at the flowers close up. i was particularly inspired by the sky and created conceptual photos every now and then.
eventually i tired of taking photos of the same things and started to take self portraits. i would set my compact camera on the floor on a ten second timer and would get photos of myself running through fields or jumping in the air. at the same time i would ask my sister if i could take photos of her sitting on rocks or walking through the water at the beach. my photos even when i started, were natural and full of movement, i liked the quiet moments, the little nothings.
i took photos of my sister and i for half a year while saving up for my first slr. the pictures i took and posted online were sold as book and album covers, much to my bewilderment. but i still took every offer i had with appreciation even though i didn't quite understand what was going on. when i finally had my pentax k1000d in my hands, i spent time learning how to shoot manually, with confidence that i could finally take control over the images i wanted to create. i shot self portraits and pictures of my sister for a little while longer before i asked two of my friends if they could model for me. my first ever shoot with someone other than me, was an alice in wonderland shoot. we set up a table full of teacups and pills, walked down to the supermarket to buy cupcakes to shoot with and spent the afternoon living a mad hatter's tea party while i took photos.
i didn't do any fashion shoots with my pentax camera. i spent that time learning what my style was, learning how to shoot portraits and work with people in photography. it helped me realise that i loved taking photos of people; but not in the ordinary way that the photography magazines i bought told me to. i liked to take photos while they are doing something, jumping, lost in thought, exploring the wilderness, brushing a strand of hair off their face.
i started to save up for a new camera. the lens on my pentax camera broke and i had been using it with a $7 film lens i found at the markets which wouldn't screw onto my camera so it sat on the body taped up with electrical tape. the photos were lovely either way, but i wanted something more. i started to have dreams of seeing my work up on billboards and to create art that would be remembered forever. somewhere my passion for taking portraits evolved into the desire to shoot fashion. i wanted a new challenge, to take photos of people i've never met before, put teams together and shoot for a reason (although just shooting for yourself is probably one of the best reasons to shoot). i wanted to put all my concentration into shooting and using the camera rather than trying to juggle both photography and modeling for my photos.
when i finally got my hands on my new camera, the canon 5dmkii, it was a breath of fresh air, like i was rejuvinated with inspiration. i had ideas and absolutely nothing in my way of making them happen. i planned a few shoots with some pretty models i found online and the shooting started. i spent a lot of time still just shooting for fun, i blogged all the photos i took and continued sharing my work online. eventually people started emailing me asking if i could shoot for them for money. i got to shoot book covers, photos for bands, eventually i started shooting model portfolios and lookbooks for designers. all of that came with me growing in what i'm doing. i never really pushed for that side of things or even thought about it all that much. they happened and all i tried to do was put as much passion into those jobs as i did for my personal work.
along the way my family and dan have helped me endlessly and supported me. i know a lot of people don't have that luxury, but i am so appreciative to have the love of the people who are close to me and even their help and advice when i needed it the most.
since then until now it has all been a wonderful ride of experiences and learning and meeting new people that i never expected to happen. i feel so blessed to be living the way i do and being able to do what i love every single day. i know i worked hard and i've been doing this for a long time even though i am young. since the beginning, taking photos would be the first thing i thought about and the only thing i would do during the day and night.
i guess i'm writing all this, not just to share it with you, but for myself too. even after years of taking photos and being a photographer i still feel unsure about myself every now and then. sometimes old feelings crawl back under my skin and haunt me for a couple of days. sometimes something doesn't go right and i question what i'm really doing. but the answer will always be i'm doing what i love and what makes me most happy (more than anything).
it's okay to be uncertain sometimes, it's okay if things go wrong and it's okay if you don't know where you're going or how to get there. i still don't know.
all you need to know is that if you're passionate about something; follow those dreams and make them come true. all the hard work is worth it if you enjoy the journey and live a full life knowing that you're living for something you love.