the sun in my bones

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the sun in my bones

 i went to the park and took some self portraits the other day in the warm sun. my hair is longer now than it has ever been before and i think it's finally time to cut it. 

the jumper and black top im wearing were a present from wildfox couture and the leotard from black milk 

♥

also, the first three photos in this set have been edited with my new preset lovestruck & the last photo in this set edited with wild bird.

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how i started taking pictures

this is something i have wanted to share with you all for a very long time. in fact, it's been a long time since i first picked up a camera and things were much different back then to where they are now. this post has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and today, right now, i feel like is the right time to press publish... this is a blog post without any photos (maybe even for the first time ever), just words. about how i started taking pictures.

for as long as i can remember i have always been artistic or creative in some way. i was a quiet girl with long, untamed hair and bruised legs from rollerskating falls. i was quite dark when i was younger. i think looking back on those days now, i understand why. i didn't know what to do with my thoughts or my creativity, i didn't really understand who i was or what i was meant to be doing. i would spend a lot of time alone, i didn't like talking to new people and i always quiet at school and would mind my own business. i think inside i knew there was meant to be something more for me, something that i couldn't find by doing what everyone else was doing; i needed to do it myself.

in 2005, i was fourteen years old when colour and art began to really spark an interest in me. i opened up a deviantart account under the name of vampire-zombie for lack of a clearer vision of what me or my art was about. from there i became obsessed at watching other people's artworks. the first thing i would do when i came home from school is log on and flick through the endless pages of inspiration in this new world i discovered. at first i gushed over the work of traditional artists; drawers, painters, people who used mixed media. that slowly grew into discovering the world of digital painters and slowly after, the world of photomanipulations.

about a year after opening my deviantart account i decided to take matters into my own hands and try my hand at some manipulations. at first i would use stock images from the internet and post them up online and ask people what they thought. i never got much of a response. i would put together digital wallpapers of my favourite bands and things i thought were pretty. but after a while i realised all that was not for me. the next thing i did was grab my family's digital camera, it was nothing special - just a little compact camera, but i took it with me everywhere i went and took pictures of everything. there was something about documenting the everyday things; the mundane, the usual, that captivated me. it seemed like a whole new world of remembering had been opened up for me.

i was too scared to take pictures of people. even of myself. i would take landscape photos, pictures of my dogs and i would stop on the side of highways just to look at the flowers close up. i was particularly inspired by the sky and created conceptual photos every now and then.

eventually i tired of taking photos of the same things and started to take self portraits. i would set my compact camera on the floor on a ten second timer and would get photos of myself running through fields or jumping in the air. at the same time i would ask my sister if i could take photos of her sitting on rocks or walking through the water at the beach. my photos even when i started, were natural and full of movement, i liked the quiet moments, the little nothings.

i took photos of my sister and i for half a year while saving up for my first slr. the pictures i took and posted online were sold as book and album covers, much to my bewilderment. but i still took every offer i had with appreciation even though i didn't quite understand what was going on. when i finally had my pentax k1000d in my hands, i spent time learning how to shoot manually, with confidence that i could finally take control over the images i wanted to create. i shot self portraits and pictures of my sister for a little while longer before i asked two of my friends if they could model for me. my first ever shoot with someone other than me, was an alice in wonderland shoot. we set up a table full of teacups and pills, walked down to the supermarket to buy cupcakes to shoot with and spent the afternoon living a mad hatter's tea party while i took photos.

i didn't do any fashion shoots with my pentax camera. i spent that time learning what my style was, learning how to shoot portraits and work with people in photography. it helped me realise that i loved taking photos of people; but not in the ordinary way that the photography magazines i bought told me to. i liked to take photos while they are doing something, jumping, lost in thought, exploring the wilderness, brushing a strand of hair off their face.

i started to save up for a new camera. the lens on my pentax camera broke and i had been using it with a $7 film lens i found at the markets which wouldn't screw onto my camera so it sat on the body taped up with electrical tape. the photos were lovely either way, but i wanted something more. i started to have dreams of seeing my work up on billboards and to create art that would be remembered forever. somewhere my passion for taking portraits evolved into the desire to shoot fashion. i wanted a new challenge, to take photos of people i've never met before, put teams together and shoot for a reason (although just shooting for yourself is probably one of the best reasons to shoot). i wanted to put all my concentration into shooting and using the camera rather than trying to juggle both photography and modeling for my photos.

when i finally got my hands on my new camera, the canon 5dmkii, it was a breath of fresh air, like i was rejuvinated with inspiration. i had ideas and absolutely nothing in my way of making them happen. i planned a few shoots with some pretty models i found online and the shooting started. i spent a lot of time still just shooting for fun, i blogged all the photos i took and continued sharing my work online. eventually people started emailing me asking if i could shoot for them for money. i got to shoot book covers, photos for bands, eventually i started shooting model portfolios and lookbooks for designers. all of that came with me growing in what i'm doing. i never really pushed for that side of things or even thought about it all that much. they happened and all i tried to do was put as much passion into those jobs as i did for my personal work.

along the way my family and dan have helped me endlessly and supported me. i know a lot of people don't have that luxury, but i am so appreciative to have the love of the people who are close to me and even their help and advice when i needed it the most.

since then until now it has all been a wonderful ride of experiences and learning and meeting new people that i never expected to happen. i feel so blessed to be living the way i do and being able to do what i love every single day. i know i worked hard and i've been doing this for a long time even though i am young. since the beginning, taking photos would be the first thing i thought about and the only thing i would do during the day and night.

i guess i'm writing all this, not just to share it with you, but for myself too. even after years of taking photos and being a photographer i still feel unsure about myself every now and then. sometimes old feelings crawl back under my skin and haunt me for a couple of days. sometimes something doesn't go right and i question what i'm really doing. but the answer will always be i'm doing what i love and what makes me most happy (more than anything).

it's okay to be uncertain sometimes, it's okay if things go wrong and it's okay if you don't know where you're going or how to get there. i still don't know.

all you need to know is that if you're passionate about something; follow those dreams and make them come true. all the hard work is worth it if you enjoy the journey and live a full life knowing that you're living for something you love.

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last weekend

i spent last weekend with my family. we went driving on long roads, went to eat at yummy restaurants and came home to the stars sparkling on our rooftop.

tomorrow i will be blogging the story of how i got started in photography. im scared and excited to share something so personal with you all. for the time being, i will leave you with a self portrait i took against a blank wall the other day with one of my presents from wildfox couture!

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studded heart

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studded heart

 model: megan emmett

makeup: lisa fahey

two black tops: black milk clothing; sophia james collection

it was so hard picking photos from this shoot! it was my first shoot of this year and things could not have gone any better than they did. megan, lisa and i explored the hills on the beachside and shot in between mountains and crashing waves at a giant beach with bright white sand and overgrowing tree roots which was almost all ours. they were both so wonderful to take pictures with, none of us wanted to finish shooting! the photos between from when the sun was dripping honey to the black sky can be found

here

.

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i spend a lot of time on the road

i hardly ever post personal things to my blog. this is something i really want to change this year. i want to share with you my thoughts, things as meaningless as tea at midnight to the photos and stories from my roadtrips around the countryside. these pictures might not be much, but i need to start somewhere! i hope you like these small nothing pictures for now. i've been taking photos every day so my next blog post will include even more. if there is anything you'd like me to blog about in particular, please let me know! 

this bench belongs to the backyard of my second home by the mountain side and the shoreline in wollongong. my mum and her partner live here with my sister and his son.

this is the view now just outside my old room. the edge of the forest used to be lined with beautiful and lush bamboo trees before the awful council came around and chopped them all down. now my view is dead trees.

pile of bamboo.

dan came to visit me while i was staying in wollongong for a few weeks at the end of the year. 

we saw a mini carnival being set up on the way home from visiting my dad's so we stopped to have a look. last time we went to a carnival we ate too much fairy floss and felt sick after going on the same upside-down ride five times in a row. we had the best time. this time the carnival had a few 'try your luck' games and a ghost train, so we ended up standing by the river for a few seconds before heading off.

we stopped and sat in the car until it went dark, waiting for our table for mexican food. it's becoming my new favourite thing to take photos when it's almost dark. 

my younger sister learning how to drive.

too windy to take photos.

the beautiful roads my mum, sister and i explored one afternoon. 

me by the river, taken by my sister.

soundtrack when driving with dan.

 two pictures of me in the front yard, taken by dan on australia day.

lunch dates with dan and realising i need to take more photos of us together.

morning light through the window.

the first photo i took with my 35mm. the day before i was going to shoot a wedding i had my mind made up that there was nothing else that i wanted more but to get a 35mm lens that day. i called up countless of places until i found a camera store that had just one left in stock. dan and i drove into the city just before the store closed and it is now happily part of my little family.

stray cats around the city streets breaking my heart.

my first self portrait in a long time. it was a gloomy day outside, it had been raining non stop for two days by then and my shoot was cancelled. so i thought i should take some pictures against a blank wall.

 our cat, dean (named after supernatural), the attention seeker.

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competition: lightroom light leaks preset

*EDIT*

after spending time going through pages and pages of amazing submissions my competition has sadly come to an end! i really love all the photos everyone submitted, thank you so much for taking part in this! i have ten lucky winners who i will announce in a second, who will be able to use the lightroom 4 light leaks preset before anyone else.

here are the winners + links to their entry, in no particular order:
1. Fae - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44661754086/sun-rose-fae-faes-book-at-facebook

2. Anna Sophie Shams - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44894072310/used-the-digital-film-curve-anna-sophie-shams

3. Molly Lichten - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44661551349/molly-lichten-ambers

4. Mandy Tan Jing Wei - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44091690888/name-mandy-tan-jing-wei-mandy-faith-name-of

5. Hannah Goerges - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44091814233/hannah-goerges-i-used-the-actions-queen-of-hearts

6. Marcelo de Coghlan - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44606427501/edited-with-alice-in-wonderland-marcelo-de

7. Tess Janssen - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44255348630/tess-janssen-film-light-leak-in-original

8. Nathalia Pavon - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/43931814192/nathalia-pavon-curve-used-window-warmth

9. Ulysses Gaygay - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44661809803/ulysses-gaygay-digital-film

10. Barbara Carneiro - http://digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com/post/44174492072/name-barbara-carneiro-the-name-of-the-colour


congratulations!! i will be contacting you all individually over the next week to have your prizes sorted out :)

thank you again for sharing all your beautiful pictures xx


--


in anticipation of the release of my new lightroom 4 light leaks preset, i thought i would hold a little competition! i've never done this before, so it should be fun!

5 lucky winners will be chosen at random to win my new lightroom 4 light leaks preset. here is a little example of what it looks like:


 light leaks contains two different presets, with two varying light leaks to add colour to your image. it hasn't been released yet, so the winners will be able to use these presets before anyone else. see more examples in my latest blog post, aurora.

the winners will also receive a free unreleased photoshop action that i was going to put up on digital film but decided to make an exclusive prize for this competition. but that's not all! on top of that, you get to choose one more product from digital film actions of your choice to be all yours.

now, onto the finer details of the competition!

prizes:

- a free copy of the lightroom 4 light leaks preset before it is released on digital film actions
- a free unreleased & exclusive photoshop action
- one free copy of anything from digital film actions

how to enter:

 - submit your photos edited with the colours from free curve friday or presets and actions from digital film to this blog: www.digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com
- every entry must include your full name and the name of the action, curve or preset of mine that you used to edit that photo
- like my facebook photography page (so i can match your entry name + notify the winners)

details:

 - the competition will run for 7 days, starting today! (saturday, 23rd of february)
- submissions close on saturday, 2nd of march. no submissions count after midnight (EST - sydney, australia time) on this date
- if you don't like my photography facebook page, i will have no way to tag you/be able to notify you that you've won
- if you don't include your name in your entry, i won't be able to match your name up through the likes on my photography page and notify you if you win
- submissions that don't include the name of the curve, action or preset used to edit them will be disqualified
- 5 winners will be chosen at random and will be announced on my facebook photography page + an edited version of this blog post
- you can enter as many times are you like!

how to submit your photos to the blog:

 - go to www.digitalfilmactions.tumblr.com
- click on the 'submit' link on the top menu
- choose your competition entry
- add your name + the name of the colour preset used to edit the photo
- accept the terms of submission
- press submit!

your entry will be published no longer than a day after it was submitted if it follows all the rules!


don't forget to have a look through all the other submissions on the blog. i see this blog as a lovely collection of work from creatives just like you and me! so please try to support other photographers just like you'd like to receive support from them!


good luck! x

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yesterday

behind the scenes of my first shoot of the year. we took photos until the sun disappeared behind the mountain. i'm so excited to share these photos with you all soon!

model: megan

makeup & hair: lisa

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some thoughts from yesterday


i’ve always been a lover of the ugly pretty. i don’t mind shooting in harsh sunlight or when my model is looking the other way or has a tangled mess of hair on her face. my camera clicks when someone takes a deep breath in or are tying their shoelaces on the side of the road. this year i want to shoot that more than ever. i want to shoot knees with bruises and hands rubbing tired eyes with dirt underneath plain fingernails. i want to run around barefoot in the forest with the wild bird i am taking pictures of in the few minutes of blue light after the sun sets and before the night sets in. i want to shoot designer clothing in the ocean and climb trees in dresses. 

so i would like to start. this is me. dan took some pictures of me in the blue light after the sun sets and the night sets in, in our front yard. this is me with bruises on my arms from listening to live music and bruises on my legs from being clumsy. my messy hair on my nape, barefoot and sitting in the grass. i hope this year is the start of something different - something more natural and more honest.

i want to breathe life into my photography like it breathes life into me.

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tara at the caravan park

on a heatwave friday, we wandered through the gravel pathways around a caravan park which slept next to the river and under the busy bridge of speeding cars. we shot in the front yards of the caravans, amongst the empty beer cans, piled up bicycles and conversations of the locals. we were so tempted to jump in the muddy water while we were shooting, the heat was unbearable during the day. but instead we giggled insanely when we were shooting under the sun and took refuge in one of the empty cabin rooms the owner of the park, a man by the name of cowboy, so kindly let us use for the day.

model: tara

makeup: lidija

stylist: jessie 

sourcing her clothes from

here

&

here

.

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2012

2012 was an amazing year. it is the last day of the year today (only three hours to go until midnight) and i thought nothing would be more fitting if i wrote a blog post about all the wonderful things that have happened in the past twelve months. i've met with more talented and creative people than i can count on two hands, traveled everywhere beautiful, and have grown so much as a person and as a photographer. here is a little list of the things that happened to me: 

i started off the year exploring and

traveling melbourne

with dan.

i officially make a living only from photography.

i set out to shoot a

music festival

and ended up shooting

two

.

i am part of the

evoke images

team shooting weddings.

i was

printed

in culture magazine.

i shot for some

pretty

amazing

brands

.

i hosted a

photography workshop

. and taught a few one on one workshops in between.

i went to a

photography meetup

and made lots of new friends.

i thought i would show you some things i got up to this year in pictures as well, after all i'm better at talking with pictures than i am at writing: 

i spent a lovely day with kiara rose. she showed me around her forest backyard and we took pictures and sat and talked in the long grass.

i became part of evoke images. a wonderful little team i am so proud to be shooting with! matt and i drove past forest fire burnt landscapes and stopped on the side of the road to get some pictures.

his camera bag vs. my tiny bag!

dan bought a ukulele which he records music for my short films with.

i went on lots of long drives. most of them with dan.

abbey love taking a photo of amelia zadro on one of our shoots. and some more behind the scenes:

the top of the world.

lauren was lovely enough to come along with me to two of my shoots to take behind the scenes pictures. i can't wait to share them with you!

lots of test shooting throughout the year. this is the lovely krystal from ava models.

my cat who jumps on my car the second i get home from shooting weddings in the middle of the night.

some self portraits on rainy christmas day.

bright fish swimming on the pavement.

a moment in between with ellie on our oh deer shoot.

sunsets while exploring.

walking down to the river at shoots and being tempted to swim in the muddy water on heatwave days.

visiting my dad.

a couple daydreaming in the park.

shoots on the side of the road (this is emma sabjan) where police drove past and put their sirens on to scare us. they drove away laughing when we all jumped and screamed.

self portraits by the creek.

outtakes from lookbook shoots.

wise words on the side of the street.

exploring the streets of sydney on shoots.

lunchtime with the lenni vintage team.

we made the street turn red.

blue rocks from smoke bombs.

wrapping up the lenni vintage shoot.

drives to the beach a few days ago.

detours through the countryside.

2013 will be different. simple, i guess. this is what i want to do:

travel somewhere outside of australia.

love more and be kind.

it's a short list i admit, but doing these two things will make me the happiest soul in the world. i guess i will see you all on the other side where i've got lots of new blog posts to make of pretty pictures and short films full of colour and wonder.

have a happy new year everyone! xo

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